Have you ever wondered why you can’t be yourself? Why you want to say something but you end up saying a totally different thing? Well we all do it. Weather we like it or not. But the good news is that we finally know why. We can finally catch a glimpse into that old complicated soul that seems to be getting in our way.
Lise Bourbeau seems to have found part of the causes that stop us being ourselves. And I when I say part of it is because our psychic is infinite. It is like the universe. If you have found a star you cannot say that you have found the entire universe. And especially because the psychic evolves. Even if we would find all the profundities of the psychic, they will not be appliable also in 200 years from now. And that’s because it evolves. Otherwise we would have stayed in stone age.
The book was first published on the 12th of september 2000 and it is based on author’s observations over the persons she interacted with over the course of her lifetime. She divides the emotional wounds into five general categories: the rejection, the abandon, the humiliation, the treason and the unjistice. There are five categories that translate themselves into a mask that the “wounded” wears in order to protect himself from subsequent manifestations of the same wound. It is his way of reaction to the sufferings he felt, his way of puttting a barrier to feelings he thinks will hurt him.
The author says that each wound is activated in report to one of the parents, to their actions. We do not realize it. Even when we grow up, we don’t even realize that we feel aversion in relation to that specific parent. We adopt automated behaviors that we apply every time, even if we don’t want to and even if we don’t know why we do it. We help someonelse putting ourselves behind, we runaway from problems, even if we only get ourselves more problems, we try to control everything because we are too afraid to lose it and be again at the mercy of the others who can hurt us. We try to make us ugly in order to not suffer again from that abuse in the childhood and we follow strict rules that we ask also the others to comply with. Sounds familiar? Well if it does, then ask yourself what did you feel? What are you the most afraid of? What are your weaknesses? All of these might take you closer to the key of your happiness.
In her book, Lise Bourbeau tells that our emotional wounds affect even the way we look. If we’re a bit chubby, very skinny, or bigger in the upper part of the body than in the lower part, you might suffer from one of the above wounds. She herslef confesses that she perceived some actions as treason and unjistice, and these wounds affected the way she lived her life, and were also transmitted to their children. They are always prone to develop wounds specific to the way they were raised. Their emotions, way of reacting are contured at a very young age when they don’t have the proper insight to realize that their parents might be wrong. For a child, a parent is always right. So if the parents tells him he is stupid, then he will also think he is stupid. We should all understand that it is ok to feel aversion towards our parents for what we are, and that we should accept who we are, even if for the moment we are not ourselves. The moment we accept what we are now we will start transforming into our real self. We will start the healing process.
It is not the first time I hear about the fact that our body gives us signals about what’s wrong with us. Weather it is a kidney, liver, heart or soul problem, our body seems to always be our true friend and tell us that he needs care. He needs our attention and without it we can sink and never go back to the surface. That surface we so eagerly desire.
Changing is hard. It was never easy to make a change. But if it is a change for the better, why not paying the effort? In the end, we are the one to benefit from that change. We are our own masters and the change is in us. But will we, our greatest critics, ever be able to accept us as who we are?
© picnicontheshelf, November 7, 2018